To bikram or not to bikram that is the question

The title doesn't really work because bikram isn't a verb it's an adjective, but what ever who cares right? Anways, I have been wanting to try bikram yoga for a while, and decided that today would be the day. If it wasnt' for that darn mapquest I'm sure I would have been a lot more on time, but alas, mapquest has a weekness that seems to arise from the area right off 405 south towards the dalls...I believe that's where it is at any rate. If it tells you take take exit 1C, and then stuff aobut highway 6, there are couple steps in there that will just f you up so bad, and get you lost. I've experienced this problem twice while trying to get to two different loctaions. But thanks to my mom I finally found my yoga class, even though I ended up going to the later one rather than the earlier. I swear I should know portland like the back of my hand with how much I drive around there, but... I don't. I mean I can get around, but it usually takes some searching to find things. Ah well, I'm getting much better. Oh yeah, back to yoga. So I was really excited to take this class, but reflecting back on it, I'm not sure if I really liked it. I'll have to give it another shot before I decide, but it was kind of strange. It structured like most of the yoga classes I've taken, and people wear a lot less clothing, everyone was in little tight spandex shorts, and none of the guys wore shirts. After it was done I didn't feel super stretched, or like my muscles had been exahusted either, I just felt a little limp from being so hot. And then I felt really bloated after I began drinking water. But maybe all this is normal for a first class, and will eventually go away. I just like the classes that challange my body more. One thing that I found interesting, but not necissarily liked, was that they made you keep your eyes open the whole time. Their reasoning was that it kept the mind alert and focus, because when you close your eyes your mind wanders. I had never thought aobut this before, but it was really true, for some reason when my eyes were open my mind didn't wander. But coming from a dance back ground where evertime I stretch I stretch with my eyes closed it was an alien feeling. It was deffinantly an interesting experience though, and I will go back and give a couple more tries before I make up my mind.

ready.... set....GALLOP!

Wow, tonight was quite possibly the perfect night. A good o'l fashioned girl's night, complete with chick flicks, chocolate, loud talking, laughing and a gallop race. Oh how I love summer, and the sad part is htis is the last real summer of high school I will have. Time is so precious, and so are the people i surround myself with. It's times like these that make me really sad to think of leaving. I know that I will make new friends, and still have a great time, but it's sad to think that the special bond I have made with the people I'm close to will be forever changed. Everyone says, we'll stay in touch, but that just can't keep up when you're hundreds/thousands of miles away. There's just no way to keep up to date with everything that's going on, and slowly you run out of things to talk about when you're not always around a person, because the friends that you have, the things that you do, and the places that you go no longer have a meaning to them if they are not there to experience them. No one wants to hear story after story of strangers, excpet maybe your parents. But there will always be the summer. When the bond will be recreated, and for a while you can be with those people again, though it will never be the same. Nothing is ever the same. You can't leave and come back to a place expecting everything to be how it was when you left, It' just won't happen, and then you will be sorely (sp?) dissapointed. Change it's just so crazy, it happens so fast, and for no apparent reason. Is it because people lie, or are they telling the truth but we just coudln't see. We become blinded by our everyday lives, and are oblivious to the small changes that take place every second of everyday, until finally it slaps us in the face, and we realize it was hidden there in plain sight the whole time. I am so curious to see where I will be in a year from now. Today I took a journey back to the beinging of freshman year, and it was so surreal to see how much I had changed, for the better I think. This was all brought about by a note that Alia had saved, and Phil found. Looking back over the note was sickening and hillarious at the same time. I had no life what so ever. I mean common! I was writing a letter about absolutly nothing to a friend I had see before the period started, and would see as soon as the period ended. Of course there was talk of boys, and other important things like that, but I just was so.... nerdy! I'm so glad change has taken place, and that I'm past that stage. I think more than anything the letter showed a transition, the reminants of 8th grade lingering in the dialog, and the begingins of a high school student. I think I should keep more things like that, and kind of wish I had. But at the same time, I'm glad I didn't. Those thigns should stay in the past, where they belong. It's nice to have a good laugh about them every now and then, but I'm glad that it's past.

Sunglasses... that's good stuff

Oh how I lvoe sunglasses. It's almost as if when I put them on no one can see me. I feel invisible, and am free to watch people with out feeling rude. Today was a wonderful day. I went to yoga, then enjoyed a wonderful sadwhich in pioneer courthouse square, where I sat back and watch the world go by. I absolutly love my time after yoga class, down in portland on my own, just me. It's a time where I don't have to be anywhere, there's no one I can dissapoint, there are no rules I have to follow, and I can do what ever I want. It is a feeling of complete freedom. It's me time, where I don't have to talk to anyone. I don't have to explain or answer to anyone except myself. Today while eating I sat back and watched people, it was interesting. There was this one man, who was wuite the character. I think he was homeless, because after I sat down, at the tables out side of the starbucks, he climbed up on one of the brick platforms and yelled, "I can see my home from here! My home is everywhere." He made conversation with almost anyone who crossed his path. He had no shirt on, and had a lot of tatoos and pircings. He struck up a conversation with a lady who went to sit and have lunch, first telling her how beautiful she was, then commenting on her elvis sun glasses. I thought this was really nice. how often do you go up to strangers and tell them how beautiful they are. I don't know if what he said was heart felt, but she then let him talk to her none the less. He kind of seemed like a conman. Nothing seemed to faze him. He could talk to anyone, and wasn't ashamed to. But at the same time I wondered if he was just lonely. I would think it woudl be very lonely to be homeless. With no one to turn to. No family (or at least none that would take you in) no real friends. It's sad. These thoughts got me wondering how he got where he was, and what prevented him from re-entering society. Because he had no problems with his social skills, and wasn't completely drity and bum looking. I wonder what he could have done or what misfortune he had sercome to. That was just one of the many people I saw, and it's just so interesting how people interact with eachother, or the lengths they will go to avoid such things. There were hundreds of people there, and I'm sure I could have made up a story about every single one of them, where they came from and what they were doing, but that would take up way too much time. But this is why I love sunglasses, they give you the power to observe with out freaking people out.

"They will see us waving from such great hights"

Well it seems that I've been having more strange dreams, and I just wish I knew what they ment. I was watching a show today about our brain and how it works, and they were hypothesising (sp?) that it's really just random thoughts that float up, and then your brain somehow weaves them into a story. But I really find that so much less appealing, I want my dreams to mean something. So for now I'll just believe that there is some hidden meaning deep within them, that only time will unlock, that's so much more intriguing, and exciting.
Nicole's in Mexico right now, and I couldn't be more jelous. She's probablly having an amazing time, and even if she's not, SHE'S IN MEXICO! so it doesn't even matter. Not to say that it hasn't been an enjoyable weekend, but mexico would be nice. I can't believe summer is half over.... sad, but senior year will be amazing. I was having my doubts early on in the summer, but after a good chat, or should I say shout? (my throat still hurts) with the girls I am reassured that it will be the best year ever. Time moves really fast now, and I'm sure it will move even faster when the school year starts, there's just so much left to do. I still have to pick out some colleges, and then apply, and all that jazz. But it will be fun. I've got amazing friends, and we're going to be so tight next year, it will be sad to leave, but at the same time really exciting. The really sad thing is that I keep thinking htat we're going to go back to school and it will be like it used to be, and the seniors will be there, and all will be well. But it isn't so, and won't be. We will be the ones in charge, I just hope that we don't screw it up.
Tomorrow marks the day that I officially become an only child for a month, my sister went this weekend to a dance thing down in good o'l San Fran, So I'll have lots of free time.