Forwarned is Forarmed

I am so mad right now, I could punch through a wall. I feel so bad for the people who have had to indure the wrath of Megan the past couple days, but I can not handle these pepole who think they know what they are doing, and are really just complete idots. Mr. Spring (My health teacher) and Nicole (The new owner of the studio) both think they know all about what they are doing, and they don't. NOT ONE BIT. I am so glad I see them as little as I do, if i had to see either everyday I would have to kill them. Mr. Springer is just the biggest dumb ass I've ever met, he doesn't know how to grade anything, and while I am in his class I feel as though I have regressed back to kindergarter with stupid matching activities, and puzzles. Then Nicole, Oh man, can she ever just get under my skin. No one at our studio likes her, and she tries to take control of everything. I wouldn't be suprised if soon she started telling the other teachers how to teach. She just butts into everything, even if she doesn't know what's going on. She's always telling us to get into class before we have to be (and sometimes before we're suppoesd to be) she tries to start other people's classes, and she treats us older students like we're still little kids. she has no respect for us, and is a total control freak. I hate her so much. I hate both of them. I know hate is a strong word, but it's the truth. If neither of them ever said another word to me in my entire life I wouldnt mind one bit. I would acctually be happy. If it weren't for the other three dance teachers at my studio, I would not give Nicole an ounce of respect, the only reason I even acckowledge them is because I know the others would want me to. The moment I'm done with health and when I've moved on from my studio both of them will be burried in the back of my mind, never to be thought of again. They both have a way of just ruining my day. I never want to even look at them again. I wouldn't even care if they dropped off the face of the earth. I can honestly say that I have never disliked anyone as strongly as these two people, which in a way is sad, and in another way, just makes me even more mad. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!! THEY MAKE ME MAD!!!

Another blog in an endless string of blogs

BLAAAAA! right now my emotions feel like a big web that's had a rock thrown through it and now its just a messy knot of tangledness, and I fear that if i don't straiten things out soon I will simply explode.
I feel completly trapped in myself, I just want to step out of my skin and wander around the world and just observe life for a while. Just to be able to walk around and not have anyone see me, and just to be able to be and exist. I want to feel, and taste, and live. I want to expand, and grow, and learn, and dance. I want to create and explore and love.
I don't want to be held back by my inhabitions anymore, I want to be fearless. I don't to be constrained by my fear or what others think or the fear or rejection. I want to be good enough just being me. I don't want to have to feel like I'm being judged. I want to be free from myself doubt. I don' t want to be afraid of success. I don't want to be afriad of taking chances. I want to love and be loved. I want for eveything to work out. I want to be able to take that next step with confidence, with out looking back. I want to be able to take control and not be afraid of skrewing up. My biggest barrier is my fear of failer. I hope to someday over come that.

The complex love/hate relationship I have with people in general

Well I should be up at the moutain right now, but due to road conditions I am here at home, so I guess I'll blog. I'm so tired of being dissapointed and let down. I am constantly getting myself all worked up over nothing, jsut expecting way too much. I suppose it's just me being nieve and wanting to believe that everyone is good and things will work out. It's kinda like, how everyone knows eveyone talks about eveyone, and you hope they don't, but at the same time deep down you know they do, and you just ignore it, and don't think about it. Sometimes I just hate people, just people in general. They all have alterior motives, and are just out for themselves. I can't remeber the last time I saw someone do something good for someone else without the promise of anything in return. There are very few genuine people in this world, so if you meet one keep them in your life.
Now don't go thinking that I hate humanity. It's really a lot more complex than me just thinking that everyone is bad and I hate the wolrd. The only reason I get so upset it becuase I acctually do like people, a lot. So it hurts more when they dissapoint me. If I truely disliked all people then I wouldn't waist time being mad and dissapointed. I suppose it's just because I see potential in people to be a lot more than they try to be. There are so many people I know who could just be brilliant people, who just waist their time skrewing around. And I just know that there is good in them, and I just want things to work out.

Glencoe boys

In the words of my friend Hannah, "If you go to Glencoe you have more chances of getting magic powers than a boyfriend." well said Hannah, well said. This seems to be the truth. It almost seems as if the boys at Glencoe aren't acctually interested in girls, and even if they are, nothing ever happens becuaes no one makes a move. Are all of us Glenconians really so frozen with the fear of rejection that will never talk to the person we like? I mean seriously, high school is a time of dating and kind of seeing what you like, and just testing the waters. It's so hard to read anyone, and tell what they're thinkging, and it just seems like a lot of work to acctually find out if someone likes you, and then when you do know what do you do? and its just like 6th grade all over again. oh well aybe by the time we get to collage we'll be able to handle dating. haha, maybe not.

harsh words for those who deserve them

There are few people you can realy trust or relye on in life. Most are too concerned with themselves to even think about other people's feelings. No one seems to think anything of blowing a friend off. And if you are blunt about the sittuation and say, hey I'm kinda pissed off, you've been a jerk, I don't want to talk to you, people just think you're totally blowing the sittuation out of proportion and that now you're the one being a jerk. I think the reason for this is because society has taught us that being polite means letting people walk all over you. If you acctaully stand up for your self then you're shrewed and loud. Even when peopel appologize we have been trained to say, "it's ok," when it's really not. It's not ok when people are jerks. Instead of it's ok, we should be saying, thank you, I accept your appology. Or if you don't, then tell them. I think it's so dumb how people say "it's ok," and act like they have had closer on what ever the incident was, even though deep down they are still harboring harsh feelings. If you have something to say, then say it!!! And if you're one of those scum sucking losers who thinks its ok to treat their friends like shit, please drown yourself, you'd be doing us all a favor.